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HUH?

"Ello Miss Wallis," Derek said in his gruff cockney accent as he opened the Mercedes door for Eden.  She glanced at his rotund body which was stuffed into a cheap black suit like a sausage in a sausage roll and as she slid onto the cold leather seat she caught a whiff of pickled onion crisps.  She wrinkled her nose and brushed a piece of fluff from her knee.  "Daddy really must get a new driver," she thought.  Derek had been with the family for years and was reliable if not a little shabby looking.
And he did not stop talking as they drove down the narrow country lanes towards Graystone.  Eden was feeling nervous and couldn't concentrate so just sniffed every so often and hoped he would take the hint and shut up.  He didn't.  Fortunately it wasn't long until they reached the turning and the car scrunched down a long gravel path until it reached an impressive, intricately designed wrought iron gateway.  The gates swung open as if they could sense the approaching car.  Gravel turned into a smooth driveway and they continued until they reached the breathtaking view of the vast main reception of Graystone school which was lit by tiny flood lights in the plush thick grass on either side of the drive.  The vision of this beautiful, grand, ancient building would take the breath away of those who saw it, let alone those who had the opportunity to visit it often, but to Eden it was just another boring building.  History was of no interest to her and she jiggled impatiently as the car continued across the length of the building and then turned to the side where smaller, more modern houses were dotted amongst acres of rolling countryside.  Teddy was standing awkwardly outside the front entrance of his house, Benedicte, holding a leather holdall.  As soon as he saw the car he walked towards it and before Derek even had time to pull the hand-break and remove himself from the seat with a groan, Teddy was opening the door.  Eden watched as he seated himself next to her and was slightly disappointed in his attire.  She presumed he'd be wearing an impeccably cut Tom Ford midnight blue suit with crisp white shirt, not jeans and a checked shirt that was half tucked in and a worn brown leather belt with RL stamped into the gold buckle.  There was a pause as he glanced at her and they both leaned in to kiss each other quickly on the lips.  Teddy smelled faintly of sweat.
"You look nice," he said, almost as an after thought.  "Where are we going then?"
Eden was about to open her mouth, but Derek got there first;
"The Dorchester, Mr Jacobs," he replied.  Eden was furious.
"It was supposed to be a surprise," she hissed.
"Oops, sorry Miss Wallis," Derek said and grimaced into the rear-view mirror.
Teddy put his hand over Eden's, "Doesn't matter.  That's a great idea.  What's it in aid of?" he looked at her.
Eden was conscious of Derek's eyes flickering over the two of them so didn't reply.  Instead, she took Teddy's hand and guided it under the fold of her skirt so he could feel the silkiness of her thighs in their tights.  She smiled sexily at him and hope he got the message.  The movement in his jeans suggested that he did.  Finally.  Teddy leaned in to kiss her again, breathing in the scent of her fur coat and hair which were doused in her perfume.  Derek coughed and they giggled and pulled apart.  


The journey to London was smooth and soon they were driving down Park Lane and the fairy lights in the tree outside the Dorchester Hotel were twinkling their greeting.  Derek pulled into the curve of the driveway and a man in a long black fitted coat and tall black hat with gold trim promptly opened the door for them.  Derek deposited Eden's Louis Vuitton bag on the floor with a grunt and winked at them before negotiating himself back into his seat and slowly driving away.
Eden had been to The Dorchester many times before, but she never tired of the revolving doors leading to a grand entrance with pale marble floor chequered with black squares.  There was a scent of lilies mingled with Chanel No. 5 and elegance and old style luxury oozed from the pores of the walls to the high ceilings.  Well, any five star hotel would do really, let's be honest.  They walked over to the reception desk and were greeted by a smiling young man, his smooth, bald head glistening in the bright lights.
"Eden Wallis.  I booked the Stanhope Suite," she barked.  The man's fingers flew over the computer keyboard as he searched for the reservation.
"Yes, of course, Madame.  Here is your key.  Your suite is on the seventh floor and please let me know if I can be of any service," the man said bowing his shiny head.    
The suite was chintzily decorated in pretty, quaint yellow wallpaper with a selection of flower paintings and rich oak furniture.  There was a separate living room containing a writing desk, mustard coloured sofa and large flat screen TV.  Eden and Teddy went through to the bedroom not quite sure what to do with themselves.  Teddy put his bag down on the leather Ottoman and perched on the edge of the floral cover on the King size bed and Eden squeaked, grabbed her bag and raced into the bathroom.  She kneeled on the white and grey marble floor and rummaged for her Pucci wash bag, throwing her coat off and reaching into her dress to roll deodorant on.  She quickly brushed her teeth and patted powder from her Chanel compact to try to tone down her flushed cheeks.  This was it.  She was going to do it, she thought.  She felt very nervous and also a little sad.  A slick of nude Bobbi Brown lip gloss, a glance at her watch and she felt just about ready to open the door and pounce on Teddy.    She placed a shaky hand on the silver doorknob and then paused.  Turning around to look in the mirror once more she hastily removed her dress and her tights.  Adjusting her lingerie, fluffing her hair, adding another layer of lip gloss and liking what she saw in the reflection she finally opened the door.  Eden paused again in the doorway and took a deep breath.  She wondered what would happen.  Would he be naked already in anticipation?  Would he push her down on the bed.  Should she be on top?  Should she say anything?  Did they need some music?  Candles?  She padded into the room, expecting to take his breath away with her appearance.  Well, sorry dear girl, the contents of Teddy's bag were strewn all over the floor, the football on TV was blaring in the background and the boy himself was lying face down on the bed, fully clothed.  Asleep.





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